I can't do it. God can. I'm going to let Him.

1. I can't do it.
2. God can.
3. I'm going to let Him.

These three short sentences, these 12 syllables, have completely changed my world the past few weeks. I am participating in a program called Making Peace With Your Past, which is an amazing support group program that helps people deal with issues from their pasts that may be effecting how they live and how they view God. These three sentences are the main theme of how to deal with these painful memories, but they've become so much more for me.

These words have helped me deal with junk that's been going on in my life a lot more recently. I realized that I was holding on to a lot of things that weren't healthy for me, and weren't in God's plan for my life. I realized I wasn't surrendering these things to Him. But just realizing that didn't really do much, since in my mind I still didn't want to let go.

But that's where these three steps came in to play. I realized I couldn't make the necessary changes on my own. I had to depend on God. I had to surrender to Him and let Him work through me. Simply put, I gave up my fight against God. I let go of several damaging relationships. I let go of my fear of failure in the future. I knew it wouldn't be easy, in fact far from it, but I knew that it would be worth it.

One of my biggest fears recently has been the fear of failure, especially when it comes to going on staff with Collegiate after I graduate next December, something God very clearly put on my heart this summer at LT. Collegiate staff members are completely support-based missionaries, meaning that I will depend on the generosity of my friends and family for my income. That's scary stuff for me. But I'm now more committed than ever to facing that fear and going on staff.

Thanks guys,
- Joe Langworthy

Band #3 at Fall Retreat 2012

3 Influential People from My Summer

The summer is officially over, so I guess it's time to write another wrap-up post. My summer was defined by relationships, so I thought it would be cool to tell you guys about some of the people that played a big role in my summer experience.

First, my project group leader, Jason, was one of the first people I met this summer and we quickly became pretty good friends. Jason is from Mizzou, but we had never really had much interaction before. He was also in my life group, the small group that I lead all summer, so we really bonded through shared experience. Getting to share my life with Jason and the other two guys in the group really helped us to grow close. I feel like those guys know almost everything about my life, and it was cool to be able to be vulnerable with those men. Jason and I often met together and discussed how we could more effectively lead the project and life groups, and I really enjoyed bouncing ideas off of each other, and then being able to see the effects of that later that week. Leading with Jason was an awesome experience, and I can't wait to work with him on campus back at Mizzou.

Next, I really enjoyed my experience in the Tuesday night worship band along with the leader Stephen. Stephen is a dude from Texas A&M, and A&M's music is very different from our style at Mizzou. Since it was Mizzou staff guys running the music at LT, Stephen had some adjustments to make, and I think we kind of bonded through me helping him through the adaption. Stephen is an amazingly strong dude, that has an amazing faith that he wears on his sleeve, which was extremely encouraging but also a big adjustment. By the end of the summer, he became one of the guys I knew I could depend on. Weirdly enough, one of my toughest parts of the summer was near the end, and Stephen helped me through it. I love that dude a lot, and I can't wait to visit him down in Texas this year.

And finally, this summer I was able to reconnect with one of my best friends from high school, a girl named Molly. Molly moved to Denver before my senior year of high school, but before that we were very close. Honestly, other than Jesus and my parents, Molly might be the person with the biggest part in my story up to this point. She's an awesome girl that I care about a lot, but since she moved we have been very inconsistent with keeping in contact. I was able to go down to Denver several times during the summer, and catching up with her was awesome. She has a one-year old son now, and he's probably the coolest kid ever. I can't even explain how much I enjoyed getting to hang out with those two this summer. Molly is an awesome mother, and getting to see that firsthand was extremely encouraging. Plus, we got to take Hudson to his first and second baseball games of his life, and at the second he got to witness the World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals beat the Rockies, and that's always fun.

Now these three people are just the relationships that really stick out from this summer, but they're not the only ones that were important. Clif, Eli, Steven, Josie, Michelle, Ben, Merle, Andrew, Chris, Reyn, Michelle, Kirstin, Aimee, Margaret, Ami, Josh, and all the other people I forgot to mention, you guys all played a huge role in my summer. In fact, everyone at LT played at least a part in changing my life, hopefully for the better.

End of Summer Wrap-Up

JDC on our last Project Group Day together.

"If God has given you a kingdom vision, if you see it clearly and feel it deeply, you had better take responsibility for it. You had better give your life to it. That's why God made you a leader. That's your unique calling. That's what you and I will be held accountable for someday."

This is a quote from Bill Hybels' extraordinary book Courageous Leadership, and it basically sums up my experience here at Colorado Leadership Training 2012. God really has been revealing to me a kingdom vision, and I'm super stoked about it, albeit a little scared/nervous. When you have to decide whether or not to devote your life to something, it's not a light decision, especially when you're only 21 years old. But I do think that is what God is leading me to do. I truly believe in the vision of the newly renamed Collegiate Ministry, of which my home church, The Rock, is a part of, and I want to be a part of it's future.

God has really been growing me through this program, in more ways than just showing me His "kingdom vision" for my life. I feel like I've been maturing in my relationships with other people, learning how to deal with conflict better, and, possibly most importantly, growing in my knowledge of God and His Word. I've been more faithful this summer with my daily quiet times and Bible reading than I ever have been before, and God has really been blessing that. I've also read several amazing books this summer, and I'd recommend them to everyone that reads this.

First of all is the book I mentioned above, Courageous Leadership by Bill Hybels. Hybels serves as the senior pastor for Willow Creek Church in Chicago, IL, a church I was lucky enough to visit on Father's Day with my dad in 2010. I noticed almost immediately once the service began that this huge auditorium with probably 15,000 people in it was on fire for God, and I think Hybels deserves a lot of credit for that. His way of "doing church," with an intense focus on small group interactions and leadership development, is an outstandingly effective tool for the Kingdom, and it was nothing short of inspiring to read this amazing man of God's thoughts on leadership. I will definitely always keep my copy of this book, and I'll probably reread it regularly.

Secondly, I read a book called Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler, who is the lead pastor at Village Church in Flower Mound, TX, and serves as the president of Acts 29 ministries, which is an awesome network of evangelical and Reformed churches around the U.S. The book is all about returning to the true Gospel message, and Chandler does a spectacular job not only breaking down and explaining the Gospel of Christ, but also motivating the reader to follow through and live a life fully devoted to the Gospel.

Like I said, I strongly recommend both of these books. They've both played an important part in my spiritual growth this summer.

10 days from now I will be leaving Colorado and heading for home. I'm both excited and a little sad. I've met some amazing people (one of which is actually most likely transferring to Mizzou and I'm stoked for everyone back home to meet him), and it will be extremely tough to leave them. But at the same time, I miss my friends in Missouri and I'm ready to serve alongside them this year.

Colorado LT 2012 Mid-Summer Update

Hey guys!

I've been meaning to start a blog for a while now, because I've been writing a bunch lately and wanted a new platform to post all that stuff. My job here at the Y has afforded me a lot of free time lately, so I  figured now was as good a time as any to get started.

This summer, for those of you that don't know, I'm working at the Mini Golf/Tennis Center at the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, Colorado and participating in a program called Colorado LT (Leadership Training) through Great Commission Ministries (also called Collegiate, or changing their name to Collegiate, one of the two). My experience so far has been amazing. I've been stretched spiritually, to say the least, and I've really seen God work through that and through me.

The LT program is very intense, to say the least. We have what are basically church services every Tuesday and Thursday night, "Project Day" once a week, workshops on Sunday evenings (starting this week actually), an optional meeting on Monday nights called LT Plus, and optional street evangelism time in Boulder every Friday night. On top of trying to do as much of that as possible, I am also playing electric guitar in the Tuesday night band, practicing at least once a week for a concert that my church back home puts on every fall, meeting with two of my mentors once a week each, and participating in a theology study group with a couple of guys from my church back in Columbia and a guy from my project group. I am almost completely worn out physically right now, but I can't remember a time when I've felt more refreshed and rested both spiritually and emotionally.

Project Day is probably everyone's favorite part of LT. Each year, the 100 or so students who come to LT are divided into Project groups, and everyone in that group shares a similar day off. On that day, the Project group meets together for a variety of activities like Bible study, service projects, prayer, sharing testimonies, evangelism, and overall just a lot of fun. My Project is awesome, as you can see in the picture, and I've truly enjoyed getting to know all of them!

Within our Projects, we divide up into what we call Life Groups. These are very small, same-gender groups where we can simply achieve a deeper bond through Christ. I actually have the privilege of being a Life Group leader this summer, and that has been an awesome role. Really my only responsibility is to facilitate discussion during the specified time we meet, but with my group that hasn't really even been a problem. These guys are so open and honest, and it's mind-boggling to think that I just met two of them 5 short weeks ago. My Life Group consists of our Project co-leader Jason, who just graduated from Mizzou, a guy named Ben from Texas A&M/Blinn, and a guy named Eli, who is originally from somewhere in Kansas I believe (and who is somehow still an awesome dude, who knew that could happen?). It's been awesome to just really pour into these guys, get to know them and their stories, and just really try to pursue God together.

Overall, I feel like so far this experience has been one of the best summers of my life. I've seen almost exponential growth in so many areas of my life, and especially in my walk with Christ. I'm about halfway through reading the New Testament, I've been learning a ton about theology and doctrine through my study group, and my interactions with my Project and Life groups has shown me a lot about how to interact with people from different backgrounds. God has also been showing me a ton through my prayer times, and I'm excited to share all that with you guys once I talk it over with a few more people.

And my time out here hasn't by any means been completely taken up by LT stuff. I've also down a lot of really fun stuff. I've been to a Rockies game, explored Pearl Street in Boulder, walked around the 16th street Mall in Downtown Denver, and tried a bunch of local restaurants in Estes Park. And to top it all, tonight after work I'm heading down to Denver to go to the original Chipotle, and I couldn't be more stoked.

Thanks guys. I'll try to keep updating this regularly, so check back often.

- Joe Langworthy